A complex emotion that many adherents of psychological and esoteric circles tend to categorize as anger. However, this is a rather simplistic view of such a multifaceted feeling as resentment.
Resentment is the feeling of a discrepancy between expectations and reality and, equally important, when the real person—the offender—is replaced by a surrogate—an idealized image of the person. Resentment then turns into an internal dialogue with the offender instead of a real conversation with the living person. This is why resentment is often referred to as the “canned goods” of relationships.
Imagine you wake up in a great mood and want to have a wonderful celebration for your wedding anniversary or another milestone. But your partner forgets this special date and, on top of that, nitpicks at trivial household issues. Instead of expressing that you were looking forward to this celebration and wanted to spend it together, you walk around like a cloud and vent everything to an imaginary partner. This aggravates the conflict instead of resolving disagreements and celebrating the planned milestone.
Try to notice your resentment and talk about it with your partner. This can not only help resolve the conflict but, more importantly, show the other person that they are important to you!
