Do not devalue the persistent desire to justify oneself.
“It wasn’t me who started it,” “My train broke down,” “Everyone makes mistakes,” “The unhealthy atmosphere at work is to blame.”
In many cases, we begin to justify ourselves when our usual psychological defenses are failing to cope with increasing internal tension. Then we resort to superficial behavioral methods: explanations, justifications, clarifications.
Psychological defense can begin to fail if its presence interferes with the satisfaction of a formed need. It then starts to take on less subtle and more noticeable forms. For example, after an injury, you wore a cast on your leg for several weeks. After it was removed, you still limp for months, fearing to put weight on the leg.
Therefore, do not blame or shame yourself for wanting to justify your actions. It is more effective to learn to experience your justifications as a manifestation of the excitement associated with an increasing desire to satisfy a new need.
